5 Tips to Help You Write Your Wedding Vows
It’s 2023, and it’s time to say a big “goodbye and see you never” to traditional vows steeped in patriarchal and religious history. If you opt to use traditional vows, consider also saying a few of your own words. Even if you say your vows in private, away from your loved ones, try your hand at sharing special words.
Let’s talk about some tips to help you write your vows. For many, writing vows is one of the most intimidating parts of the wedding planning process. I’ve heard so many people say they can’t write and don’t want to embarrass themselves. With these tips, you will have a great starting point for crafting personal vows that are perfect for you. The best part is that there is no expert writing experience needed! All you need is to show up exactly as you are.
Tip 1: Try to avoid using absolute language (always & never)
Absolute language is setting yourself up for failure. We are humans, and we mess up. It’s an impossible standard to say you will always or never do something. We can do our best to be our best, however, sometimes that won’t happen, and we have to hold space for that. You want your promises and goals to be realistic. Instead of saying, “I will always be there for you,” say, “I will do my best to be there for you through good days and bad.” The promises you make in your vows should reflect what is important to you in your relationship.
The Daydreamer Diaries | Katie Brown
Tip 2: Lean Into Sedimental Moments
You’re committing to a lifelong journey with your best friend. Take a few moments to reflect on how you got to where you’re standing with your partner. Make comments about how your feelings have changed and what your relationship has taught you about love. Many people are worried about being cheesy when talking about their deep feelings, but I encourage you to be honest. Your journey deserves to be celebrated, and your story deserves to be romanticized. Be “cheesy” and don’t care!
Tip 3: Don’t be afraid to laugh
Laughter is a great way to make things less awkward. Making your partner laugh and seeing them smile can make vulnerability a little easier. Plus, making the audience laugh can ease your nerves too. People and your spouse want to hear what you have to say! Embrace being silly and have fun with your vows. They don’t need to be super serious.
Tip 4: Choose the important things to say
It is so easy to want to say everything you can think of. As you draft your vows, choose what is most important to you. You have a lifetime to tell your partner everything you want to say. When it comes to your vows, keep them somewhat short. Whatever speaks to you the most, stick with that.
The Daydreamer Diaries | Katie Brown
Tip 5: Include quotes from movies, songs, or books
If you need some inspiration with words, include movie/show quotes or lyrics that mean something to you and your partner. You can google search love quotes from shows or the best love songs. Make a list and see what resonates with you. My husband put some lines from Grey’s Anatomy in his vows because we watched the entire show together in our dating days. There is nothing wrong with using other people’s words if your own feel a little too hard.
By using these five tips, you should feel a little less overwhelmed about where to start. You can be as silly or cheesy as you want. The rules are all yours to make or break on your wedding day. You can sob through your vows or laugh until you’re rolling. There is no wrong way to write and present your vows. What matters is that you’re being authentic and showing your partner that you want to show up for them.
Happy wedding planning! Are you ready to inquire about wedding photography/videography with The Daydreamer Diaries? Get a quote HERE.