5 Tips for the Mother of the Bride
I know that this blog is for folks getting married, but I wanted to chat about something important. Boundaries with parents are a necessity for smooth wedding planning. Maybe you need some help navigating how to set boundaries with your parents, or perhaps you're a parent helping your daughter plan their wedding. If either of these applies to you, this is a blog post for you! Here are five tips for the mother of the bride.
Remember that monetary contributions don't make you entitled to more decision-making.
Do not give money to gain more control of the wedding planning process. Either trust your child to do what they want or offer to pay for the aspects you like that the couple has already selected. The money you give should be used as a gift without strings attached. Suppose you aren't in a position to give money. In that case, I can promise that your emotional support is worth more than any dollar amount.
The Daydreamer Diaries | Katie Brown
Do not assume your role in anything.
Whether you are a bride (or groom) or a mother of either, have upfront conversations. The best thing you can do is have hard, vulnerable conversations about expectations. If you have questions or strong feelings, communicate those so both of you can come up with solutions that best fit the vision of the couple getting married. Open communication is the best way to avoid hurt feelings and broken boundaries.
Do not compare their wedding to anyone else's.
Every couple's personality, style, priorities, and finances are different. Do not invalidate your daughter's (or son) 's decisions by comparing them to anyone else. You can gently share wisdom but do not make the couple feel like their day isn't measuring up to someone else's. You must treat the couple's day as memorable as possible. Let them do what fits their vision best. It doesn't matter what everyone else is doing.
Do not make decisions without explicit permission.
Your child's wedding is not the day to invite your coworkers or a fourth cousin the bride and groom have never met. Weddings are expensive; they don't need to worry about extra guests ruining the vision and budget. When making decisions with the bride and groom, keep communication open. Do not make any decisions without checking with the couple. It is not your day, and it's imperative to keep yourself out of their plans unless stated otherwise.
The Daydreamer Diaries | Katie Brown
Don't disclude the mother of the groom.
Your kid's spouse is just as important. Their son or daughter is experiencing a life change too. Communicate and be friendly with them. Collaborate and be kind. No one wants to feel less important. Planning together lets your daughter/son know you respect and see the future of blending families. Let go of the competition and enjoy creating a beautiful day as two families unite.
Ultimately, your role as a parent is to support your daughter in her day. She is starting a life with her new chosen family, and it's crucial for you to cheer for her. Don't allow the wedding to divide your relationship. Let her know that your support is unwavering and that even if her day is nothing like you would want for yourself, be okay with that. Remember, your role is not to control your child. It's giving them space to bloom in their own identity.
Send this to a bride who needs help setting boundaries with their parent or a parent who needs reminding to stay respectful of their role.
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