Why We’re Saying Goodbye to Diamond Rings
Observing the shifts in the wedding industry has been, frankly, a fascinating time. Looking at the changes in priorities when picking an engagement ring is no different. Remember when a man was held to this standard of needing to pay double his monthly income on a ring?! (Disclaimer: I say man because the diamond industry is hugely rooted in the toxic patriarchy. We fully accept and embrace ALL couples in this space). The fact that this was ever an expectation blows my mind. I digress, but let's look at why couples and straying away from the traditional diamond ring.
First, can we please stop putting the expectation in relationships that an exuberant amount of money needs to be spent on a ring? A couple's legitimacy should not be determined by the amount of money spent or the carrot's size. I honestly cannot fathom thinking my partner loves me less because he spent less money than he "could have" on my ring. This is untrue, and this idea needs to die immediately.
On a similar note, now more than ever, couples are prioritizing experiences over things. Younger couples are more likely to spend their money on a vacation, concert, or shared activity rather than an object. We are living in a time where people prioritize their desire to genuinely live life as an adventure rather than go with the status quo. It's lovely to experience the shift in couple dynamics.
Kaitlyn Brown | The Daydreamer Diaries
It's important to note that the idea of marriage has rapidly changed. More people are waiting to get married or deciding if marriage is even for them. Traditional weddings are dying out for many couples because they are steeped in toxic traditions and expectations. Fewer and fewer couples are fitting into the boxes of what couples used to be expected to look like. For example, more couples are both working instead of a mom aspiring to stay at home and have kids. However, there are so many couples who do want the wedding experience without the stuffy traditions. This is why micro weddings and elopements are becoming significantly more popular. Check out our posts (Micro weddings vs Elopements) to learn about more non-traditional ways to plan your wedding or elopement!
Anyway, let's get back to our chat about rings. It is pretty well known that the diamond industry isn't ethical in the slightest. Did you know that large amounts of diamonds were found in South Africa in the 1930s? The diamond industry then made it their mission to sell the idea to the public that diamonds were scarce and valuable. The mining of diamonds isn't a regulated practice, so there is no way to know how to protect the environment with such unregulated practices. Another shady fact about diamonds is that the grading system to test the purity of diamonds is constantly changing based on the stones in the inventory. This means that a perfect stone at one time may have been considered a flawed stone a few months prior.
Edgar Soto | Unsplash
The most significant ethical issue with diamonds is the abuse and slavery used to obtain the stones. I'm sure you have heard of the term "blood diamond ."This refers to the cruel labor inflicted on stone minors to gather the material. De Beers, the major corporation that owns most diamonds, is a known company that actively exploits children into working in hostile environments. De Beers decided to capitalize off the discovered scandal by selling "more ethical" diamonds with a higher price tag with little to no evidence of them being more ethically sourced.
Yikes. There is a lot of rough information about the diamond industry. Unfortunately, most jewelers prey on the fact that most consumers don't know (or don't care) about the ethics of diamonds. How does learning more about the diamond industry make you feel? It is welcome to have many feelings, especially about practices deemed as tradition or normal throughout history.
Look for our article about different alternatives to the traditional diamond ring (You can read it here!). Engagement ring shopping can be an entirely ethical and beautiful experience. Let's start normalizing non-traditional views on weddings, engagement rings, and couples themselves. You shouldn't be expected to carry a diamond that costs more than your rent to feel like a bride.
Lastly, don't forget that there are no rules to how you shop for your engagement ring. Go shopping with your partner. Have discussions about what is important and be realistic in your budget. Lastly, there are absolutely no rules that you even have to have a ring. You can choose any (or none!) symbolism that fits your style and lifestyle.